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29 December 2010 @ 10:47 pm
 

So, I'm sat here in the dark because the light in my room is completely and utterly non-existent (translation: the light bulb has died. BRB planning funeral) and no one will let me light any candles or anything because all the candles in our house are "ornamental". This does not mean they are not made of wax and lack the ability to be lit. They just "look so nice that it would be a shame to spoil them".

Thanks, family. Thanks very much. The life of your candels is much more important than the strained eyesight of poor little Jessica.

http://sadviolin.com/

I mean, yesterday, I burned myself when I was taking something out of the oven! I...I now have a little burn mark on the inside of my left arm, just above my elbow. No, I'm not really sure how I managed to burn myself there either but, trust me, I'm good at these things. And, it's not my fault I don't know what simmer means! It's all well and good you rolling your eyes at me, nan, but that won't help me cook my Super Noodles, will it? No, it won't. It really, really won't.

And another thing! I spotted a sewing needle and thread in my dad's room and thought 'Oh, hey! This is my chance to create something! Something the world has never seen before! They thought when they saw Lady Gaga's meat dress that they had seen it all!! But, no. Ohhhh no. They haven't seen anything yet!'

So, to prove my point, I started randomly sewing together parts of my sweatpants.

My green sweatpants.

That I was wearing.

Now I know what you're thinking.

"DUDE OMG WTF WHY? JUST WHY? YOU FAIL AT LIFE! YOUR WIN IN LIFE IS AS NON-EXISTENT AS UNICORNS, MERMAIDS AND KEY'S PEEN. YOU SHOULD NOT ATTEMPT ANYTHING. EVER. JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE. DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING, DON'T BLINK. DON'T EVEN BREATHE!"

I know, okay? Believe me, I know so hard.

Well, anyways, I kind of ran out of thread, so I was left with something similar to a braid effect going up the front of my sweatpants and a needle sticking out of my pants leg. At that moment, I thought maybe it would be a good idea to try and remove the needle and thread and put it somewhere where I won't ever find it again.

But, you know, dark. No light. Dead lightbulb. Off-limits candles.

So, that proved harder than it should have. I eventually managed to locate some scissors and cut the thread where it goes through the eye of the needle.

Removed needle.

Removed thread.

Dropped needle.

Searched for needle.

Forgot it was dark.

Stood.

On.

Needle.


I ARE DOMESTIC GODDESS.



orz
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m y s t a t e o f m i n d: okayokay
 
 
 
Ari: 2min <3ariee200091 on December 30th, 2010 12:49 am (UTC)
OH GOD. my parents just have tons of light bulbs so we have no use for candles. My family just hates them for some reason its so wierd @_@

I always get burnt by various things. Weather it's my grill, my stove, my hair iron, my laptop, ect. I've been burnt by it all! It hurts like crazy and burn marks suck! :(

Omg are you ok? when i was a kid like 2 years old, i put a toothpick in my carpter and i jumped on the toothpick. Don't feel like the sweatpants thing is a fail! i've been doing that kind of weird failish stuff ever since i stepped on that toothpick and had to get surgery just to remove it XD

isn't tht gif like from mulan? i loved tht movie ;D
Jessica: jae guitarsabser on December 31st, 2010 01:11 am (UTC)
LOL lend me some of your lightbulbs plz? Haha, no. We do have a lot of light bulbs but whenever one blows we always leave it to my dad to replace it. But he's away at the moment so here I am, still in the dark...over 24 hours later...

ikr, getting burnt sucks. I burn my fingertips a lot but this is the first time burning my arm, and in such a strange place too. When I go back to college in the new year one of my classes will involve learning first aid. I think it will come in handy ;)

Haha, I'm fine, don't worry. The needle didn't go very deep at all so it didn't hurt too much when pulling it out.

What you did with the toothpick...why did you do that? That's so random! XD But at the same time very painful. And you had to get surgery to remove it? jfc gurl, wow, suddenly my neardeath!needle experience (?) has been pushed into the shadows. That must have been pretty unpleasant.

Yes, it IS from Mulan! I adore Mulan, it's one of my all time favourite Disney movies! :D
ajin: *O*ajin on December 30th, 2010 01:12 pm (UTC)
I really shouldn't be laughing at this so hard. You are amazing bb XD The music fit perfectly with this entry Ü
I hope you've managed to get that needle out cause that's one hurtful motherfucker >>

You're not alone with the burning thing though. 5 days ago while taking a plate out of the microwave my thumb slipped and landed on the plate. Let me tell you, it was hot. I still have a mark left. Go us :/
Jessica: jae guitarsabser on December 31st, 2010 01:24 am (UTC)
oh, wow, gee thanks, laugh at my misfortune and my fail at everything i do, mm-hmm, very much appreciated...

XD Nahh, laugh until your heart's content, bb. Trust me, I would have been laughing too if, you know, I wasn't playing voodoo doll and setting fire to myself.

Haha, the music! I was thinking to myself "I need to do something that will make people be more sympathetic..." I was thinking perhaps a picture of a sad kitten or a crying child but I didn't want to kill everyone's f-list so I merely decided to bring out the worlds smallest violin ;)

Yeah, I got the needle out without too much trouble. I just ended up staring at it silently for about 10 seconds before whimpering and wondering if calling an ambulance was appropriate.

we totes rule bb

no one can burn like we can
ajin: *O*ajin on December 31st, 2010 05:55 am (UTC)
Perfect choice of music girl XD

Lol, as long as you manage to take the needle out, no ambulance is needed. I would be worried if it disappeared under your skin...@_@

Totally. I've already burned myself twice since coming to Japan. Also managed to cut my finger really badly 8D
Jessica: jae guitarsabser on December 31st, 2010 06:20 am (UTC)
Thank you kindly, darling XD

O______O...i would be quite worried too. The saying "It could have been worse" has never been more true.

Aww, poor bb, be more careful! Don't want you burning yourself or cutting any more fingers! although i must say how much it made me lol to see a little smiley face at the end of that sentence as if you were so proud of your...achievement XD

Ahh~ Japan...I saw your pictures of the temples and the adorable little village and such. I would so love to go there. It's a dream of mine. It looks like an absolutely gorgeous country. I'm guessing you like it there? :D

ajin: *O*ajin on December 31st, 2010 06:25 am (UTC)
The smiley face was more of a "see me being a fail of the year" XD Before that I've never cut myself Ä

Life is long so I'm sure you'll manage one day! The country is pretty indeed but I think it's better to just come here for holidays. I find the society to be a bit off-putting. They're too materialistic and shallow. Pretty racist too but I've never really felt hurt by that.
Jessica: jae guitarsabser on December 31st, 2010 06:51 am (UTC)
Ahh~, I see. Well, Fail of the Year is also an achievement to be proud of! ...in a sort of embarressed, self-esteem-crushing way XD

I sure hope so. There are many places I would like to visit, but ever since I fell in love with Japan around 4 years ago it's moved itself to the top of my list and what with most of my k-pop lovelies going over there for promotions I can kill two birds with one stone, so to speak :L I suppose with the society you just have to take the rough with the smooth. I look at my own society often and think "Wow...you're a dick" so I guess because I think my own country has kind of gone to the dogs, no where else can be much worse...
ajin: *O*ajin on December 31st, 2010 07:14 am (UTC)
I will keep on feeling embarrassed and accomplished at the same time XD

I almost flopped a shit when I found out that Beast is having a concert in Tokyo. Why not Osaka, Why?! T___T
Tbh, I miss UK...I think in general, if you like the European culture, Japan will be ok but never the place you want to stay forever in.